As the saying goes: “Happiness is based on what happens.” So many of us have repeated this phrase framed in the antithesis of “joy.” Joy has been elevated above happiness in a way that can make you feel guilty for being happy. I have even found myself a time or two holding back the feeling of happiness because I know that there will be events in my life that do not make me feel happy. Therefore, I will need to find joy instead (this still confuses me). Trying to live the neutral ground I deprive myself of being swept away in amazing moments because I don’t want to crash land when things don’t go my way. Well, I don’t think we can avoid that. Now, if you have found a way to do so, please feel free to send me a message so I too can learn how.
As far as I am concerned it’s impossible to try to control the matters of life in a way that keeps us from the highs and lows. If you are anything like me your highs are REALLY HIGH and your lows are loooowwww (*deep voice*). Many have told me that I am an extremist, hypersensitive, too emotional, overwhelming, and just outright “too much.” These things may or may not be true. Labels are what they are: a tag that someone else places on you based on what category they believe you fit in. However, the adhesiveness of those labels is up to you. I don’t know about you, but I do my best to make sure they don’t stick.
So, happiness… I have learned to live in joy by choosing happiness. There have been times throughout my life and even a few heavy moments now that I could allow to keep me in the company of sadness. However, I am deciding to choose happiness. In each moment that I don’t get what I want, or things don’t turn out the way I had hoped I am committed to choosing happiness. In each disappointment, I look for the glimmer of positivity and I allow it to move me forward. It’s sometimes so small that it’s hard to believe that it will pull me through, but I have come to experience that it can if I let it. Don’t get me wrong it’s not about avoiding or ignoring disappointments or pain, but it’s about giving those feelings less energy. Eventually, the glimmer of positivity in the situation grows larger and larger because you are energizing it rather than letting sadness and negativity surrounding you.
You may be saying in your head right now: “How do I choose happy? It’s easy for you to write this because you feel good and full of wisdom. What the hell do you know about being so sad that you are blind to any glimmer of happiness?”
I do know a thing or two or three about pain, depression, anxiety, disappointment, and all the other things we can name. I know what it is like to be tempted by sorrow to sit in the comfort of sadness and let it be your blanket of familiarity. Oh, honey HONEY trust me when I tell you I know it! Even now, I will be honest and say that there are things not quite working the way I would hope, imagine, or want them to. The thing is, as I write to you, I am in the current practice of what I am sharing. I used to think I couldn’t write a message of resilience unless I was feeling GRANDIOUS WISDOM and PERFECT PEACE. Hence, the four-month hiatus from blog posting. However, I realized that I still have something to give even when things aren’t going perfectly in my own life. Honestly, when are things ever “perfect?!”
To those of you reading this: I am in the process of the same resilience, I share with you today. Whatever your challenge is, whatever your heartache, whatever the situation; you can CHOOSE HAPPINESS!
I am choosing today to be overwhelmed by the AMAZING super small tight-knit circle I have in my life. I am choosing today to be consumed by the LOVE that this circle holds in their hearts for me. I am choosing today to be happy for and in the CELEBRATIONS of what is best for the people I care deeply for.
What will you choose today? Will you make a habit of choosing happiness? There is more than enough to make us feel bad in life. I have found that my strength grows, and my life is more enjoyable when I choose happiness. I am so grateful for what I do have and am I going to enjoy it to the fullest! Welcome to the power of choice!
Photo source: https://unsplash.com/photos/VOV0q44b7R4
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