Photo by Debbie Pan on Unsplash
I had a moment yesterday morning before talking with my friend where I realized that my degree pursuit will be hard as long as I continue to frame it that way. The conversation I had later that day with my friend only confirmed it as she shared all of the things that she was still able to do while in school and writing her dissertation. I realized that I made a lot of progress in changing my perspective for so many areas of my life, but I kept my educational pursuits in an unhelpful frame of mind. Don’t get me wrong; it is WORK! I do anticipate that it will stretch me, and I know that won’t necessarily feel good. However, I enjoy structured learning. I am very passionate about my area of focus, but instead of appreciating the journey, I had been walking toward it backward.
When I was a little girl, I used to see how long I could walk backward without bumping into anything. I would slowly walk toe to heel occasionally looking over my shoulder but challenged myself not to. I tried to listen for sounds and sense something or someone if they were nearby. Eventually, I would run into something. It wouldn’t hit hard because I was already walking at a pace that would minimize impact, but it would definitely cause me to have to stop.
This is what I have been doing since I re-enrolled in the program. Walking into it backward and anticipating the moment when I am going to run into something that will make me have to stop. This frame of mind comes from the physical illness, the unhealthy relationships, the toxic environments, and the like that caused me to have to stop two years ago.
This is what I came to realize, and hopefully will be helpful to you…
The stumbling blocks of your past are stairs now. Be careful not to invite the anticipation of the struggle into your future because your expectations will create the issues that don’t exist. The story above is simple just to make plain the lesson we are learning together. We all have painful references that we must keep from being projected into our futures. I am not saying that patterns don’t exist or that you should not be alert and focused. I am saying that when the storm, struggle, trial, whatever you want to call it, is over; enjoy the rainbow. Let your reflections of hard times fuel your gratitude and energize you for what is to come. Look at your journey and realize that you are AMAZING because through it all YOU ARE STILL STANDING!
It’s time to enjoy your life and when the storms come again you can remind yourself that you have already overcome.
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